Multitasking For Dummies

I must apologize. I was talking on my cell phone and paying bills while writing this article and inadvertently left a word out of the title. Don’t worry about it; I’ll get to that later.

I admit I’m new to this multitasking business. I've been told that the definition of multitasking is "doing many things at the same time poorly", but I don't believe it. The daughter of one of my best friends is really good at it. She is the one who convinced me that it was time for me to come into the 21st century, and I have to admit, she was right.

Honestly, this girl is superwoman. You can usually see her walking around with her baby on her back while she’s talking on her blue tooth and simultaneously doing internet searches on her notebook.

Need a good price on a hotel room? She’s got you covered. Want to know where to find the cheapest gas prices? Don’t worry; superwoman is checking it out as we speak.

She actually planned her own wedding from three thousand miles away. It was very nice, although I must admit I thought it was a little strange to see the women in the wedding party wearing flip flops under their beautiful gowns.

The cashier at our local restaurant is a multitasker also. Last night she was talking on the phone and organizing the countertop while I was paying her. Good thing I checked my bill. She thought my “4” was a “7” and almost caused me to give a 30% tip to the waitress. It’s a good thing I checked, but I’m not worried. She assured me the overcharge wouldn’t appear on my bill.

There are a lot of people multitasking these days. The nurse who took care of me during my last hospital stay is one of them. She was answering her intercom cell while cleaning up the vomit from my roommate and accidentally ripped my oxygen tube out of the wall. It worked out OK, though, because a student nurse who stopped by a few minutes later noticed the problem and fixed it.

This is the same student nurse who figured out that someone had given me the shot of anti nausea medication that was meant for the lady in the other bed. This girl really has to get with it. She obviously hasn’t learned how to multitask yet! I don’t know how she thinks she can ever succeed unless she learns this important skill. In fact, I don’t know how I ever made it this far in life without it.

I’m certainly glad that super woman brought me up to date. Now that my dinner is ruined, the baby has been crying for 30 minutes because his diaper is full and my dog has pooped on the carpet because I forgot to take him out, I’ve remembered the missing word in my title: “is”.